domingo, 6 de septiembre de 2009

Macabre

Directed by Mario’s son, Lamberto Bava, this is one of the sillier, and less interesting, of the Italian horror cycle. It was his first movie, so we forgive the guy for a first try, and he would go on to make some kick-ass flicks with A Blade In The Dark and Demons. The story is set in Louisiana, and all the actors are dubbed in bad Louisiana accents, even worse than in The Beyond. Bernice Stegers (XTRO) plays Jane, a lonely housewife who hates both her husband and daughter, but in the daughter’s case it’s acceptable since she’s a little cunt. On a day out with her lover, a biker dude, the little daughter drowns her younger brother, sending mommy into a frenzy. On the way to the house, she and her lover crash the car and her lover’s head comes off like a volleyball. Surely, this would traumatize anyone.
One year passes, and Bernice walks out of the mental hospital and moves into the motel where she used to pass her romantic liaisons. The place is owned by a blind guy called Robert Duval (JAJAJAJA!) who lusts after Jane. But soon Robert hears Jane having sex with someone, but doesn’t hear anybody come in. What dark secret is Jane hiding, and why does it sound like she’s getting really good head? Yeah, if you’ve seen this film, you’ll think it’s a bad joke. Sadly this movie is kind of like a bad joke as a whole. Bava tried to make this film to be almost like a Hitchcockian thriller, but sadly it lacks both the suspense and the humor that makes the Master’s films so memorable. Also, there’s a lot of waiting, and waiting, and waiting for something to happen and it just doesn’t lead to anything except a really obvious conclusion where the woman has her lover’s decapitated head in a freezer and makes love to it. I will recommend two things from this, however: first, Bernice Stegers. She’s hot as hell, and gives the only good performance in the entire film. She fills the movie with eroticism and mystery and is a delight everytime she’s on-screen, particularly during her self-sex scenes. She’s the MILF everyone dreams about!
The other thing I recommend is the final shot. I’m not going to give it away, but it’s so damn ridiculous that you have to see it to believe it. It’s almost as if Lamberto Bava decided to give us film viewers a big fuck you, then laugh at us. That’s why I say the film is a bad joke, and this is a bad movie, only recommended for MILF lovers and fans of European horror films.

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